A talk with a child is cheaper than therapy — although if that’s your reason for talking to children, you should probably still get the therapy.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
I get a lot of my best ideas when I’m watching PBS.
I get a lot of my best ideas when I’m watching PBS. The other day I was watching when they had a Peter, Paul & Mary concert and I got a great idea: “If I find a way to steal cable I won’t have to watch this crap.”
-
As the years rolled on, those of us at the kids’ table always wondered which of the
As the years rolled on, those of us at the kids’ table always wondered which of the adults would perish and open up a spot at next year’s Thanksgiving. I was the ONLY one who decided to be proactive about the matter and yet I’m now the black sheep of the family?
-
Traffic jams are much more tolerable if you just think of them really boring parades.
Traffic jams are much more tolerable if you just think of them really boring parades.
-
I want a body tattoo depicting all my bones and muscles, with labels, in case I get the
I want a body tattoo depicting all my bones and muscles, with labels, in case I get the doctor who was nowhere near head of his class.
-
What options other than “bang on the drum” do I have if I don’t want to work?
What options other than “bang on the drum” do I have if I don’t want to work?
-
Wait, I’m confused — do I bang a gong first, then get it on, or vice-versa?
Wait, I’m confused — do I bang a gong first, then get it on, or vice-versa?
-
Before you criticize a baby, crawl a mile in its diaper.
Before you criticize a baby, crawl a mile in its diaper.
-
My wife fell asleep in my arms last night.
My wife fell asleep in my arms last night. She woke up this morning with an impression of the bazooka on her butt.
-
I hate winter.
I hate winter. By the time spring arrives, my nipples have worn holes through all my favorite shirts.
