Barring a rash of immaculate conceptions, you’ve got to think we’re on our last generation of on-line gamers and role playing geeks.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The strange irony is that my mother told me there’d be days like this — including the
The strange irony is that my mother told me there’d be days like this — including the bit about the man in the tinfoil hat groping himself on the subway platform.
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Eskimo kisses are nice and French kisses are lots of fun, but you might want to think
Eskimo kisses are nice and French kisses are lots of fun, but you might want to think twice before combining them.
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My new co-workers at the slaughterhouse have been great, patiently showing me the ropes
My new co-workers at the slaughterhouse have been great, patiently showing me the ropes without any of the hazing I’d feared. I will say, though, that I hope the Testicle Fairy visits soon, because my pillow is starting to smell awful.
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If I’m to believe Occam’s Razor — that all things being equal, the most obvious answer
If I’m to believe Occam’s Razor — that all things being equal, the most obvious answer is usually the correct answer — then I must sadly admit that all spammers probably don’t share the exact same name and email address as my wife, and that all those “male enlargement” spam messages are actually from my wife.
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Infomercials should only be viewed between 3 a.m.
Infomercials should only be viewed between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. That’s when you’re desperate for sleep and watching George Foreman grill meat somehow makes sense on a higher metaphysical plane.
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You’d have to think the worst thing about being one of those dudes that get paid to hold
You’d have to think the worst thing about being one of those dudes that get paid to hold up signs is knowing that at any moment, you could lose your job to a stick or a staple.
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Hangovers are temporary; memories are forever.
Hangovers are temporary; memories are forever. Unless you were too drunk to remember them, that is.
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Oh, look, it’s a little Bill Clinton head!
Oh, look, it’s a little Bill Clinton head! Smells like cheeseburger! Ah, Teddy Roosevelt. The Square Deal tastes like cherry, I guess. And JFK! How in the world do they get that detail in a little piece of candy? Man, these Prez dispensers are great!
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Since I was born with only four fingers, I’d like to marry someone else who has the same
Since I was born with only four fingers, I’d like to marry someone else who has the same number of fingers as I do. I mean, besides a drunk carpenter or a kid with a buzz saw.
