Personally, I don’t consider it all that strange to find a sexy message from “A Secret Lover” in my bulk e-mail folder. But that’s probably because whenever I get a sexy message from my wife, she sends it via bulk e-mail, too.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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When I got arrested, they told me, “Anything you say will be held against you.”
When I got arrested, they told me, “Anything you say will be held against you.” I said, “Claudia Schiffer’s boobs.”
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I wonder if before 007 was issued his license to kill, he had a learner’s permit to kill.
I wonder if before 007 was issued his license to kill, he had a learner’s permit to kill. Because that would be pretty embarrassing to have to have an older agent accompany you every time you have to shoot someone.
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If a company’s most valuable resource is its people, how come the employees aren’t
If a company’s most valuable resource is its people, how come the employees aren’t locked up, but the toilet paper is in a reinforced steel box with a lock, bolted to the stall?
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I think the very definition of “one of those days” is when you start your morning by
I think the very definition of “one of those days” is when you start your morning by mixing up your contacts with your electric shaver.
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You really can learn things in Lamaze classes.
You really can learn things in Lamaze classes. I learned that just because a video has a naked lady in it doesn’t mean that my “bawm-chick-a-bamp bamp” song is going to automatically get a laugh out of the room.
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Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely. *Absolut* power, on the other hand, foolishly makes you believe there will be no repercussions for punching out your boss after that five-vodka-martini lunch.
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The warmth and comfort I feel when I wear my aviator jacket on cold winter days is just
The warmth and comfort I feel when I wear my aviator jacket on cold winter days is just enough to tip the balance away from the guilt I feel over those poor aviators who were killed for their pelts.
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You know, you can say what you like about the Amish.
You know, you can say what you like about the Amish. That’s my favorite thing about them.
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The other day as I was stopped at a traffic light, the guy in front of me jumped out of
The other day as I was stopped at a traffic light, the guy in front of me jumped out of his car and started pounding on my hood, screaming about how the ointment wasn’t working. The cops who dragged him away told me it wasn’t my fault — it was just another senseless incident of ‘roid rage.
