Those bastards at the dating service rejected my application because the three adjectives I chose to describe myself were “intense,” “trigger-happy” and “loner.” Oh, wait… silly me: “Loner” is a noun! Well, *that* explains it.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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People are often taken aback when I, a man, describe myself as having a girlish figure.
People are often taken aback when I, a man, describe myself as having a girlish figure. Hey, with my man-boobs and huge belly, I look just like my eight-months pregnant neighbor.
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When it comes down to it, it’s the little thongs in life that makes it all worthwhile.
When it comes down to it, it’s the little thongs in life that makes it all worthwhile.
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Football is a game of inches — much like naked limbo.
Football is a game of inches — much like naked limbo.
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If you possess super powers, I guess I can understand wearing a bright red, blue and
If you possess super powers, I guess I can understand wearing a bright red, blue and yellow jumpsuit with a large “S” on it. But to wear a big red cape, too? That starts to look like you’re trying to rub it in.
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I love fajitas.
I love fajitas. Unfortunately, they make me fajart.
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The great thing about convincing mimes to join Fight Club — besides totally beating
The great thing about convincing mimes to join Fight Club — besides totally beating their asses — is knowing they’ll never break rules 1 and 2.
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I would think that when God needs a break from the pressure of running the universe, He
I would think that when God needs a break from the pressure of running the universe, He takes a couple of Almightiagra tablets to temporarily relieve His omnipotence.
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I kept hanging flyers all over the campus, but no one ever came to our shows.
I kept hanging flyers all over the campus, but no one ever came to our shows. In hindsight, our band probably could have come up with a better name than Lost Dog.
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I was helping my 9-year-old daughter do research for her book report on horseback riding
I was helping my 9-year-old daughter do research for her book report on horseback riding for kids. So I Googled the following: “pony, ride, under age 18.” … and I swear that’s the truth, Your Honor.
