Apparently, making love to your gin and tonic will get you thrown out of most bars, if not arrested. Thanks for nothing, Billy Joel. R.M. Weiner
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
Maybe if we made kids color inside the lines instead of allowing this expressionist BS,
Maybe if we made kids color inside the lines instead of allowing this expressionist BS, they’d be able to park in a space when they grew up.
-
The main thing my family didn’t like about the ravioli I made from scratch last night
The main thing my family didn’t like about the ravioli I made from scratch last night was my use of staples to seal the meat in the ravioli.
-
It never fails.
It never fails. Just looking at photos of Bob Costas makes my eyes itchy. Thank God he doesn’t have crabs.
-
You know how they say “Turn your head and cough”?
You know how they say “Turn your head and cough”? That is so they don’t get germs in your face. At least that’s how the guy in my bus station does it. /@b0nrmunky
-
Olympic trivia time.
Olympic trivia time. It’s called “Skeleton” because “We’re not Luge pussies who go down the run feet-first” was determined to be unwieldy.
-
Don’t get me wrong, I love watching kids grow up.
Don’t get me wrong, I love watching kids grow up. It’s just that some of them are creeped out by a guy staring at the top of their heads. /@b0nrmunky
-
My robot doesn’t think he evolved from a computer; he thinks he was created whole by an
My robot doesn’t think he evolved from a computer; he thinks he was created whole by an engineer.
-
When the dude banging on my door yelled “Is that my wife in there?”
When the dude banging on my door yelled “Is that my wife in there?” I had to ask “What’s her name?” Hey, with 4 billion women on the planet, what were the odds?
-
“12 Years a Slave” for Best Picture?
“12 Years a Slave” for Best Picture? Great, now I’m going to have to stumble through parties pretending to have seen it for about that long.
