Some days I just want to treat other people like they are bad guys in a video game. Sorry I exploded your head, slow walking asshole.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I would love to see a female boxer in a “girl fight” at a bar.
I would love to see a female boxer in a “girl fight” at a bar. Nothing shuts up a mouthy drunk chick faster than being knocked unconscious by a professional.
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You’re saying you DON’T watch midget porn on your phone when you’re on the crapper at
You’re saying you DON’T watch midget porn on your phone when you’re on the crapper at work? Well excuse ME, your majesty! Greg Preece
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English if I ran it: A group of crows is called a “group.”
English if I ran it: A group of crows is called a “group.” A group of buffaloes is called a “group.” A group of catfish is called a “group.”
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Some people like scrapbooking.
Some people like scrapbooking. Some people like antiquing. Gerunds seem to be infiltrating and turning our nouns to the dark side.
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If I could change jobs to something I’m bad at, I’d be a barber.
If I could change jobs to something I’m bad at, I’d be a barber. The pay’s no good, but I’d giggle myself to sleep every night.
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Dogs as a species would have died out long ago if the leg-humping dogs were their only
Dogs as a species would have died out long ago if the leg-humping dogs were their only hope of reproduction, cause those suckers seem to be way off the mark every time.
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I felt kind of ripped off when I couldn’t see any scrub brush-bottomed bubble dudes
I felt kind of ripped off when I couldn’t see any scrub brush-bottomed bubble dudes spraying out of the bathroom cleaner can. Guess I need huff it a little deeper next time.
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If Hansel and Gretel had left a trail of farts instead of breadcrumbs, it would have
If Hansel and Gretel had left a trail of farts instead of breadcrumbs, it would have been just as effective and might have put the witch off eating them.
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Jimmy Buffett: “Blah blah booze blah blah Tijuana blah blah sailboats blah blah weekend.”
Jimmy Buffett: “Blah blah booze blah blah Tijuana blah blah sailboats blah blah weekend.” White people: “WOOHOOO!” Travis Ruetenik
