Okay, dog, here’s the deal: I’ll teach you how to use a can opener, and you teach me how to lick my balls. /@rmfnord
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Took the kids up to Nantucket one weekend for the Limerick Festival.
Took the kids up to Nantucket one weekend for the Limerick Festival. Boy, was that a mistake.
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If I were Dan Snyder, I’d change the name of my football team to the Washington Girly
If I were Dan Snyder, I’d change the name of my football team to the Washington Girly Red Skunks. There, beyotches! Now it’s offensive!
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You might think your kids hate bath time, but I guarantee you don’t have it half as bad
You might think your kids hate bath time, but I guarantee you don’t have it half as bad as the Wicked Witch of the West’s parents did. R.M. Weinter/@rmfnord
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The cool thing about religion is that when you need a better God, nobody’s stopping you
The cool thing about religion is that when you need a better God, nobody’s stopping you from making one up. /@b0nrmunky
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I was a bed wetter when I was a little kid, but I did it on purpose.
I was a bed wetter when I was a little kid, but I did it on purpose. I figured that even a monster wouldn’t want to live under a mattress that smells like piss.
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I think I may have done too many Kegels, because now I’m getting taint cramps.
I think I may have done too many Kegels, because now I’m getting taint cramps.
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I was visited by three ghosts this Christmas.
I was visited by three ghosts this Christmas. They were all family members, and technically they were all still alive, but I just find it comforting to imagine they’re already deceased.
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This bookstore has fantasy and self- improvement as two different sections.
This bookstore has fantasy and self- improvement as two different sections.
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For my management style, I prefer the carrot-or-stick method: I can either beat you with
For my management style, I prefer the carrot-or-stick method: I can either beat you with a stick, or beat you with a carrot.
