My parents always said I’d end up unemployed and living in their basement. Well, I guess I showed them! By the way, thanks for the cookies and milk, Aunt Mary!
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The oyster is but a shell that conceals the pearl within.
The oyster is but a shell that conceals the pearl within. And oyster guts.
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I used to think my older sister was possessed by a demon, what with all the levitating,
I used to think my older sister was possessed by a demon, what with all the levitating, growling voices and head-spinning. But then my parents explained that whole PMS thing to me.
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I bellied up to the bar and ordered a double Jack and Coke.
I bellied up to the bar and ordered a double Jack and Coke. Before I even took a sip, I was so happy that I started jumping up a down and spilled it all over the bar. Seems I suffer from premature Jack elation.
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I think a really cool thing for blind people would be talking warning signs.
I think a really cool thing for blind people would be talking warning signs. The drawback would be the resulting explosion of the blind population due to a lack of natural predators.
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The second rule of Fight Club is: Don’t whistle songs from “The Sound of Music.”
The second rule of Fight Club is: Don’t whistle songs from “The Sound of Music.”
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All these advertisements and commercials confuse me.
All these advertisements and commercials confuse me. Here I was thinking the burning sensation when I urinated just meant my shampoo was working.
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I think math class should teach us useful skills, like how this small, round cardboard
I think math class should teach us useful skills, like how this small, round cardboard tube would be half full of toilet paper right now if I had just coughed up a few cents more for the double roll.
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It never fails: Whenever I try to get romantic with a woman, I always start crying
It never fails: Whenever I try to get romantic with a woman, I always start crying uncontrollably. I guess pepper spray will do that to ya.
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I have some JPGs of Britney Spears dancing naked.
I have some JPGs of Britney Spears dancing naked. Except she’s not naked — she’s wearing a grubby bathrobe, and she’s not dancing — she’s eating oatmeal, and she’s not Britney Spears — she’s me.
