Clean Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

My Buddy Builds Tunnels for a Living

My buddy builds tunnels for a living.

Personally, I think it sounds like a boring job, but he totally digs it.

My friend had to quit his job helping foreign tourists find a place to sleep while they were traveling.

It was a hostel work environment.

I had a great childhood. One of my favorite things was to roll down hills in tires.

Those were the Goodyears.

I went to the doctor and said I’ve got an earache, inflamed sinuses, conjunctivitis, and headaches, but he was dismissive.

He told me, “It’s all in your head.”

I’m going on a first date with a vegetarian girl I met online.

I’ve never met herbivore.

I recently opened a company selling trampolines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets are going through the roof.

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

I wanted to have a nice summer body for people to look at, but I realized I like food more than I like people.

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night.

I’m in the hospital now, waiting to be seen.