Why did SeaWorld close?
It was being reporpoised.
Sensitivity: Clean
Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Why David Hasselhoff Started Going by “the Hoff”
Why did David Hasselhoff start going by just “the Hoff”?
It was less hassle.
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“I” Before “E”
“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.
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Reminiscing With an Old School Friend
I was reminiscing with an old school friend the other day.
I said, “Do you remember when the sun would rise in the morning and set in the evening?”
He said, “Ahhh, those were the days…”
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Pile of Wet Jeans by the Riverbank
I heard there was a pile of wet jeans left by the riverbank.
So I drove my Chevy to the Levi’s, but the Levi’s were dry.
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Husbands, if your wife does something wrong
Husbands, if your wife does something wrong, just explain to her how your mom did it.
She will appreciate your advice and strive to do it as she did.
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The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
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Did you hear that Apple revealed a new device today that tells a dad joke at the push of a button?
Did you hear that Apple revealed a new device today that tells a dad joke at the push of a button?
They’re calling it the iRoll.
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Two Boys at the Pharmacy
Two young boys walk into a pharmacy, pick out a box of tampons, and take them to the checkout.
The pharmacist looks at the older boy.
“How old are you, son?”
“Eight.”
“Do you know what these are used for?”
“Not exactly,” the boy replies. “They’re not for me. They’re for my brother. He’s four.”
“Oh, really?” the pharmacist asks.
“Yeah. We saw on TV that if you use these, you can swim, play tennis, and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do any of those.”
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When it comes to being a good father for my daughters, I have three unwritten rules
When it comes to being a good father for my daughters, I have three unwritten rules:
1)
2)
3)
