Clean Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Uranus

URANUS

URUNCLE

Men only want one
thing and it’s disgusting

Then wash it

When you thought it was just
a toot, but it was a little more.

You’d think snails would be faster without their shells.

But they’re actually a bit more sluggish.

My wife thinks our friend is lying when he claimed that he scaled Mount Everest, but I disagree.

I think he made it up.

My kids asked if they could have a dance party in the neighbor’s vegetable garden. I’m like, “Uh, why?”

“Because they lettuce turnip the beets.”

Sundays are always a little bit sad.

But the day before is a sadder day.

An elephant walks into a bar. Nobody acknowledges him.

The elephant went out and came back with a few of his fellow elephants and got a beer from the bartender.

The other customers were amazed and asked how he did it.

The elephant said, “You need to make yourself herd.”

Taking snails out of their shells won’t make them go faster.

On the contrary, it makes them more sluggish.