Sensitivity: Clean

Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Little Johnny’s Parents at School

    Little Johnny’s parents come to the school to pick him up.

    They go to the first floor. There is a door with a sign saying “Wonderful kids.” They look inside. Little Johnny isn’t there.

    They go up to the second floor. There is a door with a sign saying “Good kids.” They check. Once again, Little Johnny isn’t there.

    They go to the third floor. The sign says “Okay kids.” They open the door. Once again, no Little Johnny.

    Floor number four. It says “Problematic kids.” No Little Johnny.

    On floor number five, it says “Bad kids.” That one, too, doesn’t have Little Johnny.

    Floor number six, a sign saying “Nightmare kids.” Horrified, the parents go inside… Still, no Little Johnny.

    Finally, they go to the last floor, number seven.

    A door.

    The sign says “Little Johnny.”

  • Farmers are not only good at their job

    Farmers are not only good at their job, but they are also outstanding in their fields.

  • I wouldn’t say I’m a big drinker

    I wouldn’t say I’m a big drinker. I usually just have a glass of whiskey before bed.

    Last night I went to bed 8 times.

  • Michael Jackson put out some very good albums

    Michael Jackson put out some very good albums.

    But I think we can all agree his 7th album was Bad.

  • Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.

    Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.

  • I was up All Night Long trying to listen to my collection of Lionel Richie songs, from A to Z

    I was up All Night Long trying to listen to my collection of Lionel Richie songs, from A to Z… but I am stuck on U.

  • I failed my college photography exam

    I failed my college photography exam.

    I just couldn’t focus.

  • New Prisoner Tries the Numbered Joke System

    A man is sentenced to prison for a non-violent crime. He’s scared, but on the first night he notices something strange.

    It’s after lights out and all the inmates are in their cells, when a voice from one of the cells yells out, “2467!” And all cells resound with laughter.

    After a brief silence, another voice shouts out, “7113!” Again, all the other inmates burst out laughing in their cells.

    Puzzled, he asks his neighbor what’s going on. “We love to tell jokes at night,” comes the reply. “But since we’ve been here so long we know them all and have them numbered. So we just yell out the number!”

    This goes on for some time. At last, wanting to get in on the action, he decides to try his luck. He boldly shouts out, “557!”

    But there is an awkward silence. After a while the sounds die down and it seems like everyone is settling down for bed.

    He asks his neighbor what the problem was.

    “What can I say, kid. It’s just your delivery that stinks.”

  • The Teaspoon

    The invention of the teaspoon caused quite a stir.

  • Inflation Joke

    Last year, I had a great joke about inflation.
    But it’s hardly worth it now.