Sensitivity: Clean

Clean humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Ancient grease

    An archaeologist found a 2,000-year-old oil stain.
    Ancient grease.

  • It means a lot to you

    To all my Spanish-speaking friends out there, I just want to say “mucho”…
    …because I know it means a lot to you.

  • That guy from You’re So Vain

    You know, someone should introduce that woman from “Killing Me Softly,” who thinks the guy is singing about her, to that guy from “You’re So Vain.”

  • Al Roker

    Should NBC be concerned? They keep getting communications that affect the weather from some rogue terrorist group called “Al Roker.”

  • I bleed at the sight of someone passing out

    I’ve always been different from most people. For instance, I bleed at the sight of someone passing out.

  • Stars in my eyes

    The worst part about falling asleep in my Campbell’s chicken soup is waking up with stars in my eyes.

  • Look like you don’t know anything

    It’s not what you know or who you know.
    It’s how to look like you don’t know anything.

  • Other words and phrases

    I bought a pen that can write under water…
    It can also write other words and phrases.

  • Not Much These Days

    A clown walks into a bar.

    His demeanor is awful. He asks the bartender for a shot, but says he won’t be able to pay for it.

    The bartender takes one look at him and decides he needs it.

    “Sure, buddy. You look awful. Wanna talk about it?”

    The clown downs the shot and says, “My God. Today is the worst day of my life. I’m in town for a comedy show, but my joke gopher was stolen, the show was canceled, my hotel reservation was canceled because of the show, and my bank accounts have been frozen!”

    He slumps in his seat and shakes his head.

    The bartender pours him another shot.

    “Wow, that’s a really awful day. I’m sorry, but what’s a joke gopher?”

    The clown shakes his head again.

    “Not much these days, or I wouldn’t be begging for drinks.”

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