PG 13 Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

“This here.” “What is some bullshit?” “Can you be more

“This here.” “What is some bullshit?” “Can you be more specific?” “What is some bullshit, right here?” “Correct!” – Ghetto Jeopardy

Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex:

Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex: using “cum” as a verb is acceptable, whereas using it as a noun is not.

Prenatal ultrasound: Our first dick pics

Prenatal ultrasound: Our first dick pics.

“If you want something done right, do it yourself.” – Masturbators

First there was S&M;, then SMBD, then LGBT. Now it’s LGBTQIA.

First there was S&M;, then SMBD, then LGBT. Now it’s LGBTQIA. Forget about erectile dysfunction pills, I need a prescription to cure my Acronymorrhea.

Having my 4/20 party on 5/5, because fuck the man and his

Having my 4/20 party on 5/5, because fuck the man and his “calendars.” Also, who’s coming to my barbecue on 7/4?

What if farts smelled like perfume and farting on someone was a

What if farts smelled like perfume and farting on someone was a way to show affection and– hey, where’re you going? Don’t you want your artisan sandwich?

I can understand sign language. If you accidentally brush your

I can understand sign language. If you accidentally brush your tit on my arm it means “Buy me a drink.”

Girls say they want a funny guy, but leave off “who’s not fat”

Girls say they want a funny guy, but leave off “who’s not fat” — like I say I want a nice girl but leave off “who’s hot, rich and into butt stuff.”

Thinking about losing weight, but I’m scared to discover what my

Thinking about losing weight, but I’m scared to discover what my penis looks like. What if it’s hideous?

Sensitivity: PG-13