Sensitivity: PG-13

Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Coffee Will Help

    Coffee Will Help

    When you’ve only slept for 2 hours and you think coffee will help.

  • No Thanks I’ll Just Have Water

    No Thanks I’ll Just Have Water

    No thanks, I’ll just have water

    Gatorade FIERCE GRAPE .50 20 oz Plastic

    Gat rade .50 FRUIT PUNCH

  • Apples Float Because They’re Witches

    Apples Float Because They’re Witches

    WHY DO APPLES FLOAT?

    People in 1750

    BECAUSE THEY’RE WITCHES!

  • What’s the Catch? There It Is

    What’s the Catch? There It Is

    YOU MATCHED WITH [redacted] ON 3/31/19

    You’re cute 🙂 but what’s the catch?

    Wow what a healthy attitude towards women

    There it is

  • Throwback to My First Race

    Throwback to My First Race

    THROWBACK TO MY FIRST RACE

    I WON !!

  • Spotify Hackers Threaten Nickelback List

    Spotify Hackers Threaten Nickelback List

    BFF @YrfBFF

    Damn you, hackers! Is nothing sacred!?

    Spotify Hackers Threaten to Reveal Full List of Users Who Listen to Nickelback

    By Jesse McLaren August 21, 2015

    New York, NY- The stock market remains in chaos as a hacker group makes yet another threat to reveal sensitive information from music streaming service Spotify’s databases. This comes one week after the outing of a Florida Congressman as a subscriber to various Creed playlists

    PHOTO: Nickelback posing in truckstop bathroom.

  • Madison’s Lab Partner

    Madison’s Lab Partner

    you thought you were having a bad day, at least you’re not Madison’s lab partner…yikesssssss

    Today in my bio lab we were doing check swabs and like checking them out under the microscope.. and cheek cells all look like fried eggs. & this girl was like ummm my don’t look anything like that and so the prof walked over and looked at hers and she goes well that’s because these aren’t cheek cells they’re sperm cells

  • Illegal to Own a Christian

    Illegal to Own a Christian

    PATHEOS.COM

    Study finds atheists are more likely to own cats than Christians

    Robert Noble: This article is stupid. Besides not knowing how to feed and care for them, it’s illegal to own a Christian, let alone buy and sell them.

  • The Sperm Count

    An 85-year-old man had to take a sperm count for his physical exam. The doctor gave him a jar and said, “Take this home and bring back a sample tomorrow.” The next day, the man returned to the office and handed him the jar, which was as clean and empty as the day before.

    The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained,

    “Well, doc, it’s like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then my left, still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left — nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then the teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too — first with both hands, then an armpit, she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees — but still nothing.”

    The doctor was shocked. “You asked your neighbor?”

    The old man replied, “Yep. None of us could get the jar open!”

  • Everything Is Big in Texas

    A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is big!”

    “Everything is big in Texas,” says the bellhop.

    The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow, these drinks are big!”

    The bartender replies, “Everything is big in Texas.”

    After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender.

    The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, “Don’t flush! Don’t flush!”