Sensitivity: PG-13

Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Law School

    It turns out law school is a lot like elementary school. They assign you a locker, you meet new friends, and pulling the cute redhead’s pigtails still isn’t as good an idea as you think it is.

  • Just a shot in the dark

    I was trying to get romantic with the new nurse at my doctor’s office, so I asked her to dim the lights before she gave me the tetanus booster.
    I guess it was just a shot in the dark.

  • A lot of loud swearing sounds

    I don’t know about trees, but when I was alone in the forest and I fell down, I made a lot of loud swearing sounds.

  • Beat Up a Fifth Grader

    I don’t think I’d do very well on that TV show, “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?”

    But if they ever have a spin-off called, “Can You Beat Up a Fifth Grader?” I’ll bet I could score some nice consolation prizes.

  • Pepper

    A woman is waiting in line at a grocery store. The woman in front of her keeps sneezing and letting out a loud moan after each one. Woman #1 asks her if she’s okay. Woman #2 says, “I have this condition — every time I sneeze, I have an intense orgasm.”

    Woman #1 asks if she takes anything for it…

    Woman #2 sneezes again and moans out the word, “PEPPER!”

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  • It’s Usually the Mother, Not the Father

    My wife was in labor when the nurse said it was time to push.

    She gave it everything she had until a fart, which from the sound and stench had obviously followed through, escaped.

    She was mortified.

    “Don’t worry,” I said, patting her head. “I’ve heard this kind of thing is perfectly natural during birth. Isn’t that right, nurse?”

    “Yes,” said the nurse, gagging, “but it’s usually the mother, not the father!”

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  • Stress Relief

    Told my wife I was so stressed that only a blowjob would help.

    She asked me where I was going to find a dick to suck at this time of night.

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  • Help the Children, Get Roasted

    Help the Children, Get Roasted

    When you try to help the children in need but end up getting roasted instead

  • Advertisements

    Advertisements

    You can’t spell advertisements without “semen” between the tits

    Until we meet again.

  • Who’s the Bald Woman?

    Who’s the Bald Woman?

    Her: I didn’t find any hair in your car

    Me: Okay .. so?

    Her: Soo who’s the bald woman?