Me: *beating my meat at 3am*
My Apple Watch:
Why are you running?
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Tonight’s Main Story: My Outfit Looks Like Balls and a Cock Peeing – More at 11
“Tonight’s main story: my outfit looks like balls and a cock, peeing. More at 11”
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Someone Finally Wrote a Book on Clock Fetishes – It’s About Fucking Time
WOW someone finally wrote a book on clock fetishes
it’s about fucking time
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I Don’t Think Giving Him a Gun Is the Right Choice Creatively – Paddington 3
Al Kennedy @housetoastonish
I love these movies but I don’t think giving him a gun is the right choice, creatively
IGN @IGN · 07 Jul 21
Paddington 3 will begin shooting in 2022.
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Do Amish Dudes Have to Row Boat Their Wife’s Titties?
Hes probably thinking about other women
Do Amish dudes have to row boat their wife’s titties?
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If You Serve Your Kids Frozen Pizza You’re a Terrible Parent – Find the Time to Microwave That Shit
If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner, you’re a terrible parent. I don’t care how busy you are–find the time to microwave that shit.
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Game Show Idea: 11 Gay Men and 1 Straight Man – None of the Men Are Actually Gay
Game Show Idea:
11 gay men and 1 straight man are locked in a house. The object for the gay men is to find out who isn’t gay. Once a week someone gets outvoted, until 2 are left, or the straight man is out. If the gays manage to outvote him, they win 1 million dollars. If the straight man is among the 2 last people in the house in the end, he wins 1 million dollars.
Now here’s the twist: None of the men are actually gay, they just all think they are the one straight man.
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Can You Give the Kids a Talk on Drugs – I Talk a Lot of Shit When I’m High
Wife: Can you give the kids a talk on drugs?
Me: Ok but I talk a lot of shit when I’m high
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Dog: Drop the Ball – Dog: Go Fuck Yourself
Dog: You are my life. My purpose. I will do anything for you
Human: Drop the ball
Dog: Go fuck yourself
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If Size Doesn’t Matter Why Are There No 3 Inch Dildos
If size doesn’t matter why are there no 3 inch dildos
