I’d like to give a shout out to all of the librarians…
…oh… oh, yeah… I’m sorry.
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Poop With the Door Open
I told my wife that we’ve been together long enough now, we can poop with the door open…
…She told me I shouldn’t be pooping in the car in the first place!
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Moo Goo Gai Pan
While lying in bed, the chef of the Chinese restaurant nudged his wife, saying, “I wouldn’t mind a little 69 right now.”
His wife, who works as a server, turned her back, saying, “If you think I’m gonna get out of bed at this time of night to make you moo goo gai pan, you’re crazy.”
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Hooters Every Ten Years
Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other’s stories.
At age thirty-two they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch. “Where do you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why Hooters?”
“They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts, and the gorgeous legs.”
“Perfect, you’re on.”
At age forty-two, they meet and play golf again. “Where do you wanna go for lunch?”
“Hooters.”
“Again? Why?”
“They have cold beer, big-screen TVs, and side action on the games.”
“Yeah, boy! Let’s do it!”
At age fifty-two they meet and play again. “So, where do you wanna go for lunch?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“The food is pretty good and there’s plenty of parking.”
“OK.”
At age sixty-two they meet again. After a round of golf, one says, “Where do you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Wings are half price and the food isn’t too spicy.”
“Good choice.”
At age seventy-two they meet again. Once again, after a round of golf, one says, “Where shall we go for lunch?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts.”
“Great choice.”
At age eighty-two they meet and play again. “Where should we go for lunch?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Because we’ve never been there before.”
“OK, let’s give it a try!”
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Celebrating That Long
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes,” she sighed. “He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” I said. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
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It Was Just a Meme
WHEN YOUR GIRL SEE YOU SMILING AT YOUR PHONE
“Go fuckin be with her if she’s So funny”
“it was just a meme”
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Carry Stuff Under Nutsacks
WHAT IF GUYS CARRIED STUFF UNDER THEIR NUTSACKS
THE SAME WAY THAT GIRLS CARRY STUFF IN THEIR BOOBS
