Sensitivity: PG-13

Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Hooters Every Ten Years

    Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other’s stories.

    At age thirty-two they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch. “Where do you wanna go?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Why Hooters?”

    “They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts, and the gorgeous legs.”

    “Perfect, you’re on.”

    At age forty-two, they meet and play golf again. “Where do you wanna go for lunch?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Again? Why?”

    “They have cold beer, big-screen TVs, and side action on the games.”

    “Yeah, boy! Let’s do it!”

    At age fifty-two they meet and play again. “So, where do you wanna go for lunch?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Why?”

    “The food is pretty good and there’s plenty of parking.”

    “OK.”

    At age sixty-two they meet again. After a round of golf, one says, “Where do you wanna go?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Why?”

    “Wings are half price and the food isn’t too spicy.”

    “Good choice.”

    At age seventy-two they meet again. Once again, after a round of golf, one says, “Where shall we go for lunch?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Why?”

    “They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts.”

    “Great choice.”

    At age eighty-two they meet and play again. “Where should we go for lunch?”

    “Hooters.”

    “Why?”

    “Because we’ve never been there before.”

    “OK, let’s give it a try!”

  • Celebrating That Long

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

    I asked her, “Do you know him?”

    “Yes,” she sighed. “He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”

    “My God!” I said. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

  • Your Wife Is Better

    Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, “Heck. My wife is better than that.”

    The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, “You know what? Your wife is better.”

  • It Was Just a Meme

    It Was Just a Meme

    WHEN YOUR GIRL SEE YOU SMILING AT YOUR PHONE

    “Go fuckin be with her if she’s So funny”

    “it was just a meme”

  • VHS Roulette

    VHS Roulette

    VHS roulette: A very dangerous game to play. Is it porn or a birthday party?

  • Carry Stuff Under Nutsacks

    Carry Stuff Under Nutsacks

    WHAT IF GUYS CARRIED STUFF UNDER THEIR NUTSACKS

    THE SAME WAY THAT GIRLS CARRY STUFF IN THEIR BOOBS

  • Stripper One Dollar Check

    Stripper One Dollar Check

    Stripper One Dollar 0/100 $1.00 Da Booty

    Ready to hit up the club.

  • Weathermen Are Like New Brides

    Standing at checkout at the local hardware store. The old guy in line ahead of me was asked by the cashier about the upcoming snowstorm forecast.

    “Weathermen are like new brides,” the old man said. “Neither has any idea how many inches they’ll get or how long it’ll last.”

  • Beat Me Half to Death

    A guy finds an old lamp and gives it a rub. A genie pops out.

    The genie says, “I will grant you three wishes, but there are rules. One wish has to be good for you, two have to be bad for you. And whatever you wish for, your ex-wife gets double.”

    The guy thinks for a second and says, “Alright. For my first wish, I want a million-dollar mansion sitting on one hundred acres, with a safe inside that has ten million dollars in it.”

    The genie snaps his fingers. “Done. And your ex-wife now has a two-million-dollar ranch on two hundred acres with a safe holding twenty million.”

    The guy shakes his head but says, “Okay. For my second wish, I want you to give my ex-wife half of everything I have.”

    The genie looks at him for a moment, then snaps again. “Done. Which means she now has to give you all of hers.”

    The guy smiles. “Perfect.”

    The genie says, “Alright, last wish. This one has to be bad for you.”

    The guy takes a breath and says, “Fine. I want you to beat me half to death.”

    The genie pauses, looks at him, then slowly smiles.

  • Devotionals For Teens

    Devotionals For Teens

    If God Loves Me, Why Can’t I Own and operate a midget brothel?

    Devotionals for Teens