I was at a speed dating event, looking for a partner who can light my cigarette.
The first candidate started telling me about how smoking is actually really bad for me.
I told him that I appreciate his intention, but it’s not a match.
Sensitivity: PG-13
Pg-13 humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Note to self: It’s not “boner-fide” opportunity. Follow-up note
Note to self: It’s not “boner-fide” opportunity. Follow-up note to self: Who cares? I got the job!
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I know it’s called a blow JOB, but I really don’t think the
I know it’s called a blow JOB, but I really don’t think the interview was necessary.
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Just my luck, I picked up the *karma* sutra book instead of the
Just my luck, I picked up the *karma* sutra book instead of the *kama* sutra. I guess what cums around goes around.
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I taught my testicles to sing the blues. It kinda makes sense,
I taught my testicles to sing the blues. It kinda makes sense, as that’s the color they are most of the time.
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It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop
It seems reasonable to think that a “crap shoot” and a “poop shoot” are pretty much the same thing, but it turns out that they aren’t. Also, sometimes when something happens in Vegas, word spreads to Atlantic City.
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Tip for the guys: If you’re hung like a mouse, don’t get waxed;
Tip for the guys: If you’re hung like a mouse, don’t get waxed; the technician may mistake your member for an unusually tough pube.
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Usually when I jot something down on my hand as a reminder, it’s
Usually when I jot something down on my hand as a reminder, it’s along the lines of, “Because of the infected calluses, use Lefty this week.”
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I love it when you say things at work that can sound dirty, like
I love it when you say things at work that can sound dirty, like “When do you get off?” or “Hey, wanna fuck me on the copier?”
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I can’t believe that dude was offended when I asked him if he
I can’t believe that dude was offended when I asked him if he enjoyed doing doggy styles. I guess pet groomers are just thin-skinned.
