Me too ice cream, me too
Made to be licked, topped, and loved
Jeni’s makes it better.
Tone: cheeky
Cheeky humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Whoever Smelt It Dealt It
Cop: ur car smells like marijuana
Me: whoever smelt it dealt it
Cop: gosh dangit
Me: ur under arrest
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Three Stops Ago
A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to eat…
So she says to her baby, “Eat up now or I’m going to give it to that nice man over there,” and points at the man sitting across from her.
Ten minutes later: “You have to eat, or I will give it to that man!”
Five minutes later: “Come on now, I can’t waste this milk so you have to eat or I’m giving it to that man.”
At this point the gentleman sitting across from her finally says, “Come on lady, make up your mind, I was supposed to get off three stops ago!”
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Job Interview Today
My Girlfriend is so sweet. She sent me this pic from her job interview today. Good luck
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Your Mom Chocolate Bars
Your mom after I buy $4 worth of chocolate bars for your little league fundraiser
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Cut My Leash Into Pieces
Cut my leash into pieces
This is my bestest bork
Domestication
No Breeding
Cant give a heck
Cause they neutered my weenie
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Dishwasher Chopping Vegetables
HIM: the dishwasher is acting weird
HER: what’s it doing
HIM: chopping fucking vegetables
