Tone: cheeky

Luigi is taking his new apprentice through town, showing him all he’s done. They start at a lovely bridge that spans a river. The craftsman points, “Luigi did this service for the town. Luigi chose strong timbers for the span, made sure all was sound and secure. Do they call me Luigi the Bridge Maker? No!”

They went to the docks, where Luigi pointed to the ships. “Luigi laid these keels, squared timbers, and made sure boards fit perfect. Do they call me Luigi the Shipwright? No!”

Finally, they went to a little shop where furniture was sold. “Luigi crafted these tables and set the joints that they might serve a family for generations. Do they call me Luigi the Carpenter? No!”

“But you fuck ONE goat…”

An elderly British couple rents a car in Australia. They return furious after seeing a man having sex with a kangaroo and a one-legged man masturbating.

The rental clerk says, “Please understand, it is very difficult for a one-legged man to be able to catch a ‘roo.”

A Boeing 777 encounters heavy turbulence. The captain tells the passengers the worst is behind them, but forgets to switch off the intercom.

He turns to his co-pilot and says, “Phew, that was exhausting. I could use a hot coffee and a blowjob right now.”

As the head stewardess rushes toward the cockpit, a passenger calls after her, “Don’t forget the coffee!”

A man finds a gorilla in a tree and calls a gorilla removal service. The service guy arrives with a stick, a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and handcuffs.

He explains that he will poke the gorilla until it falls. The Chihuahua will bite the gorilla’s testicles, allowing the man to handcuff it.

The man asks what the shotgun is for.

The service guy replies, “If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the Chihuahua.”

A son walks in on his parents having sex. His mother explains that she gets on top of Daddy to flatten his big stomach.

The boy says, “You’re wasting your time.”

When she asks why, he says, “When you go to the supermarket, the woman next door comes over and blows him back up.”

Three cowboys sat around a campfire, exchanging tall tales about how tough they were. The first had strangled a snake, and the second had killed a bear.

The two cowboys looked to the third and asked if he thought he was tougher than them.

The third cowboy said nothing and just continued to sit there, stirring the fire with his dick.