Tone: Clever

Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Judas I Dont Tell You How To Do Your Job

    Judas I Dont Tell You How To Do Your Job

  • Ingest A Satchel Of Richards

    Ingest A Satchel Of Richards

  • Shovel Was A Groundbreaking Invention

    Shovel Was A Groundbreaking Invention

  • Infrequently

    An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.

    Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of the physical side of their relationship.

    “How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather tentatively.

    “I would like it infrequently,” she replied.

    The old fellow sat quietly for a moment, leaned over towards her and whispered — “Is that one word, or two?”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Just Walk

    A group of tourists got turned around on a backroad and spotted an old local sitting by the path. They stopped to ask for directions and how long it would take to get to the train station.

    The old man simply pointed toward the horizon.

    “Alright, but how long will it take?” one of the tourists asked. “An hour? More?”

    “Just walk,” the old man said flatly.

    “Yeah, we’re going to walk,” the tourist replied, a bit annoyed. “But we need to know the timeframe. How long will it take us to get there?”

    “Just walk,” the old man repeated.

    “Look, can you answer a simple question or not?” the tourist snapped, convinced the old man was losing his grip.

    Thinking the man was just senile, the group turned around and started walking away. They had only gone about fifty yards when they heard the old man shout after them:

    “It’ll take you about an hour and a half!”

    The tourists stopped and yelled back, “Why couldn’t you just tell us that in the first place?”

    “Because,” the old man yelled, “I had to see how fast you walk!”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail
  • Supercuts Punched In The Jaw

    Supercuts Punched In The Jaw

  • Normal Condom Or Ribbed One Rib It

    Normal Condom Or Ribbed One Rib It

  • How Warm Is It in There

    My daughter and I were watching Star Wars. She asked why Luke was climbing inside the Tauntaun.

    “To keep warm,” I said.

    She thought about it for a second, then asked, “How warm is it in there?”

    I looked at her and replied, “Lukewarm.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail