Doctor, my back hurts when I wake up in the morning
Wake up in the afternoon then
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

My son got suspended from school for asking a girl to be his valentine and chasing her with a sawed off shotgun
#BoysWillBeBoys

Husband: I’m getting you diamonds for our anniversary
Wife: Nothing would please me more
Husband: *Gets her nothing instead*