Tone: Clever

Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Last One There Gets a Rotten Egg

    Q: What did one sperm cell say to the other sperm cell?

    A: Last one there gets a rotten egg!

  • Social Security Kind

    Nina and Liz are having a conversation during their lunch break.

    Nina asks, “So, Liz, how’s your sex life these days?”

    Liz replies, “Oh, you know. It’s the usual, Social Security kind.”

    “Social Security?” Nina asked quizzically.

    “Yeah, you get a little each month, but it’s not enough to live on.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Paint My House

    Some smart looking businessman dude was sitting in a bar drinking a beer one night when a gorgeous well-stacked blonde walked in.

    She says, “For $250, I’ll do anything you want, only you have to describe it in three words or less.”

    He thinks about this a minute or so, pulls out $250, and says, “Paint my house.”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Two Kinds of Booty

    It’s funny how the hip-hop “booty” is different from the old-time pirate “booty” — yet if you have either of them, you can pretty easily get the other.

  • 60-Minute Carbio Porkout

    I designed my new video to address an under-served niche: enabling Atkins dieters to enjoy the thrill of watching a starch-laden buffet get decimated without all the unwanted after-effects via “60-Minute Carbio Porkout!”

  • Alone When Doing Number Two

    The old song says, “One is the loneliest number you could ever do.” I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be alone when I’m doing number two.

  • Pure Bread Horse

    Pure Bread Horse

    I have always wanted to own a pure bread horse

  • Beethoven Did He Listen

    Beethoven Did He Listen

    Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do

    Just look at Beethoven, everyone told him he would never be a musician, just because he was deaf. But did he listen?

  • Remote Part Desert

    Remote Part Desert

    MEANWHILE

    IN A REMOTE PART OF THE DESERT

  • Cowboy Architects Towns

    Cowboy Architects Towns

    I BELIEVE A LOT OF CONFLICT IN THE WILD WEST COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED

    IF COWBOY ARCHITECTS HAD JUST MADE THEIR TOWNS BIG ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE