Tone: Clever

Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Throwback to My First Race

    Throwback to My First Race

    THROWBACK TO MY FIRST RACE

    I WON !!

  • Sofa King Happy

    Sofa King Happy

    I know a good company when I see one

    TheSofaKing

    I’M SOFA KING HAPPY

  • The Sperm Count

    An 85-year-old man had to take a sperm count for his physical exam. The doctor gave him a jar and said, “Take this home and bring back a sample tomorrow.” The next day, the man returned to the office and handed him the jar, which was as clean and empty as the day before.

    The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained,

    “Well, doc, it’s like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then my left, still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left — nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then the teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too — first with both hands, then an armpit, she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees — but still nothing.”

    The doctor was shocked. “You asked your neighbor?”

    The old man replied, “Yep. None of us could get the jar open!”

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  • CILT Simulation

    CILT Simulation

    I know. That’s how I read it at first.

    CILT SIMULATION FORUM EVENT THIS WAY

    Sheffield Hallam University

  • The Times are rough

    I’ve run out of toilet paper, so I’ve started using old newspaper…
    The Times are rough.

  • Ancient grease

    An archaeologist found a 2,000-year-old oil stain.
    Ancient grease.

  • It means a lot to you

    To all my Spanish-speaking friends out there, I just want to say “mucho”…
    …because I know it means a lot to you.

  • Law School

    It turns out law school is a lot like elementary school. They assign you a locker, you meet new friends, and pulling the cute redhead’s pigtails still isn’t as good an idea as you think it is.

  • Just a shot in the dark

    I was trying to get romantic with the new nurse at my doctor’s office, so I asked her to dim the lights before she gave me the tetanus booster.
    I guess it was just a shot in the dark.

  • That guy from You’re So Vain

    You know, someone should introduce that woman from “Killing Me Softly,” who thinks the guy is singing about her, to that guy from “You’re So Vain.”