BREAKING NEWS: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum. Doctors have described his condition as stable.
KCCI NEWS 8
Tone: Clever
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Plant Your Potatoes, Dad
An old farmer wrote to his son in prison.
“This year I won’t be able to plant potatoes because I can’t dig the field. I know if you were here you would help me.”
The son wrote back, “Dad, don’t even think of digging the field because that’s where I buried the money I stole.”
Police read the letter and the very next day the whole field was dug up by the police looking for the money, but nothing was found.
The next day the son wrote again, “Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It’s the best I can do from here.”
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Searched So Thoroughly Gold Watch
ewilliams1: They searched him so thoroughly, they found a gold watch.
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Keep People in the Dark
My friends keep asking me how I’m able to save so much on my electric bill,
but I’ll never tell because I like to keep people in the dark.
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Turn Over
So a girl is going to marry a Greek fellow. The night before the wedding, the girl’s dad takes her aside and says, “Honey, I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just say it. If he ever asks you to turn over, you don’t have to.”
So they get married. Sure enough, about six months later, the Greek guy asks the girl to turn over.
“You know,” she says, “my dad told me I don’t have to turn over if I don’t want to.”
“Whatsa matter?” says the Greek guy. “Don’t you wanna have kids?”
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Grey and Comes in Pints
What’s grey and comes in pints?
An elephant.
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Ladder Safety Sign
I’m not sure what this sign is a safety precaution for, but I think using your feet on a ladder is a better option…
