AM
IT’S AN AMBUSH.
Tone: Clever
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Loggins Attempts
I just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing “Danger Zone” five times.
Apparently, I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
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World’s Biggest Fan
I took my friend to see the world’s biggest fan for his birthday.
He was blown away.
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The Hyperbole
While the Super Bowl has about seventy thousand attendees each year, the hyperbole has at least a bajillion.
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Americans Right About Miles
Water ← 1 mile
Water 1 kilometer →
Americans 2 Sep at 12:05
But the Americans are right. A mile is less then a kilometre. (1 mile = 1,6 Kilometre)
boredpanda.com
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Elephant Wisdom
Why are elephants so wise?
It comes with getting long in the tooth.
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Van Gogh Coffee Table
I just bought an original Van Gogh coffee table.
I know it’s authentic because there’s a bit of veneer missing.
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Tom Jones Syndrome
A guy goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I can’t get that song ‘She’s a Lady’ out of my head. It keeps repeating and repeating, and it just won’t go away.”
The doctor says, “Hmmm… sounds like a case of Tom Jones Syndrome.”
The guy says, “I’ve never heard of that. Is it rare?”
And the doctor says, “It’s not unusual.”
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ID Theft
My friend David has just been a victim of ID theft.
He’s now called Dav.
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Calendar Company
Why did the employee at the calendar company get fired?
He took a day off.
