Tone: Clever

Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball

    What’s the difference between a golf ball and a Land Rover?

    Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball over 300 yards.

  • They’d crack each other up

    “Dad, why don’t eggs tell jokes?”

    Because they’d crack each other up.

  • It will still be stationary

    It doesn’t matter how much you push the envelope. It will still be stationary.

  • The Top 20 Brexitisms

    20. Czechout

    19. Byehamas

    18. AufWiederSpain

    17. Bolts-wanna

    16. ToStayOrTogo

    15. Cote de AuRevoir

    14. Canadivorce

    13. Fleeji

    12. Scootland

    11. Outdia

    10. Bounce-nia and Herewegoseeya

    9. Dubaibye

    8. Afghaniscram

    7. China-na-na, Hey Hey, Goodbye!

    6. Solongman Islands

    5. Australiaderci!

    4. Farewales

    3. Ethelopeia

    2. ColorMeGhana

    And the number one Brexitism…

    1. Greece Out

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  • That’s 15-love

    My wife said, “I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis.”

    I replied, “That’s 15-love.”

  • And then I saw her face

    When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
    And then I saw her face…

  • Roman Legacy vs Ottoman Legacy

    Roman Legacy vs Ottoman Legacy

    Roman Legacy vs Ottoman Legacy

  • Going to the Dentist

    Just when I thought I’d get a break from my day job as a prostitute by going to the dentist, I realized I was actually paying *him* to shove his throbbing tool in my mouth.

  • A complete prick

    When I first met Richard Peter Johnson, he seemed like a decent guy, but he turned out to be a complete prick.

  • Inspect Her Gadget

    I’m starting a vibrator repair service.
    I’m calling it “Inspect Her Gadget.”