john @mrjohndarby
me: my fish is very dry
waiter: yes, we had to take him out of the water
me: smart
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

john @mrjohndarby
me: my fish is very dry
waiter: yes, we had to take him out of the water
me: smart

Emma Manzini @EmmaManzini
A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Your Jew-Jitsu is strong, but feel the power of my…
Did you guys hear about the worldwide sting operation on people who mix drinks?
Many of them are behind bars right now.
Two guys are arguing about whether Taco Bell should be considered Mexican food.
At least they both agree that it is Mexican.
I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She asked me…
“How do you know it was on its way to work?”
My wife is learning how to operate a bulldozer.
I’m not going to stand in her way.

When going fishing, take an Action Figure with you…. it will make your catch look amazing!!!

r/Jokes u/vyrago
my wife asked me if I wish she had been born with big tits.
I told her that I find big tits on babies disturbing.