Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A campaigning politician was driving through the countryside, meeting his constituents.
As he passed a farmhouse, he struck and killed a rooster in the road.
He told the farmer, “Sorry, but I’ve run over your rooster.”
Reaching for his wallet, he added, “I’d very much like to replace him, of course.”
The farmer said, “Fine. You can start right away — the chickens are out back.”
An old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past five minutes sitting here.”
The doctor gives her some pills and tells her to come back next week.
The next week, the old lady comes back and says, “Doc, I took the pills. The farts are still silent, but now they stink!”
The doctor says, “Great! We’ve cleared your sinuses. Now let’s work on your hearing!”
What’s the difference between a golf ball and a Land Rover?
Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball over 300 yards.
It doesn’t matter how much you push the envelope. It will still be stationary.
20. Czechout
19. Byehamas
18. AufWiederSpain
17. Bolts-wanna
16. ToStayOrTogo
15. Cote de AuRevoir
14. Canadivorce
13. Fleeji
12. Scootland
11. Outdia
10. Bounce-nia and Herewegoseeya
9. Dubaibye
8. Afghaniscram
7. China-na-na, Hey Hey, Goodbye!
6. Solongman Islands
5. Australiaderci!
4. Farewales
3. Ethelopeia
2. ColorMeGhana
And the number one Brexitism…
1. Greece Out
My wife said, “I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis.”
I replied, “That’s 15-love.”
When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face…
