An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, “I have a dead pussy.”
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Unleash ChaosTone: irreverent
Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Hitting the Bottle Again
After five years on the wagon, my friend Natasha started hitting the bottle again. I just have to remember that it’s a sickness, not a weakness, to be addicted to artificially blonde hair.
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Front Hole Happiness
A young Japanese girl had been taught all of her life that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him. So the first morning of her honeymoon when the young Japanese bride crawled out of the bed after making love, she stooped down to pick up her husband’s clothes and accidentally let out a big fart. She looked up, smiled at him, and said:
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Glass Houses
Remember: People who live in glass houses can see you masturbating in their bushes.
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Three Phases of the Male Life Cycle
A young woman asks her mother, “Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?”
The mother, surprised, answers, “Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, a man’s penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his sixties, it is like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?”
“Yes. Dried up, and the balls are there only for decoration.”
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The Honesty’s Too Much
Sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much — ’cause you’ve put on quite a few pounds, there, baby.
