Tone: irreverent

Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Samuel L Jackson 5

    Samuel L Jackson 5

    Featuring some of their greatest hits

    1. I’ll Be There Motherfucker

    2. ABC Motherfucker

    3. Dancing Motherfucking Machine

    4. Motherfucker I Want You Back

    The Samuel L. Jackson 5

    Ezekiel 25:17

    FutherMuckin Management

    Hollywood, California

    WB RECORDS

  • Johnny’s Surgery Gets Out of Hand

    “Doctors and Nurses”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    A woman brings ten-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her ten-year-old daughter.

    Johnny’s mother says, “Let’s not be too harsh on them… they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.”

    “Never mind sex” replies Mary’s mother. “He’s taken her fucking appendix out!”

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  • Gay Hide and Seek Goes Hilariously Wrong

    Two gay guys are in their apartment. The first guy says, “Let’s play hide and go seek. If you find me, I’ll blow you.”

    The second guys says, “What if I can’t find you?”

    And the first guy says, “I’ll be behind the piano.”

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  • Al Gore’s Internet Refund

    If Al Gore really invented the Internet, then why does he continue to ignore my repeated requests for a refund of my BIGBEAVERZ.COM membership fee?

  • Young Mike Tyson’s Early Development Question

    Mike Tyson came home from 2nd grade and said “Mom, I’ve got the biggest dick in my class – is that cuz I’m black?”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “No son, that’s cuz your 18”

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  • Three Daughters, Three Cryptic Ads, One Happy Mother

    A mother had three daughters and, on their wedding day, she told each one of them to write back about their married life.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The first one gets married and the second day the letter arrives with a single message, simply:
    “MAXWELL COFFEE HOUSE”
    Mother was very confused and finally noticed a Maxwell Advert, and it said:
    “Satisfaction to the last drop…” So, Mother was happy.

    Then the second daughter got married. After a week, there was a message that read:
    “ROTHMANS”
    So, the Mother looked at a Rothmans ad, and it said:
    “LIFE SIZE, KING SIZE” And Mother was happy.

    Then it the third one got married. Mother was anxious. After four weeks came the message:
    “BRITISH AIRWAYS”
    So mother looked at the BA ad, but this time she fainted. The ad read:
    “TWO TIMES A DAY, FOUR TIMES A WEEK, BOTH WAYS.”

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  • Portrait Of My Mother

    Portrait Of My Mother

    How is the portrait of my mother coming along?

  • Marine’s Unexpected Request Leaves Sex Workers Surprised

    The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    She said “well, he was a big muscular and handsome marine”

    “Well, what did he want to do?” they all asked. She said “I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn’t have that much”

    “So I told him a blow job would be $75, but he didn’t have that much either”

    “Finally I said, well, how much do you have”? The marine said that he only had $25. The new hooker said “well, for $25 all I can give you is a hand job”

    He agreed and after getting the finances straight, she said “he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then the second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand…..”

    “Oh my god” they all exclaimed, “it must have been huge…. then what did you do?”

    “I loaned him $75!” she said.

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  • If I Were God

    If I were god, I’d wait till the seventh day and try to do it all that evening, but then I’d probably get sidetracked when I invented Comedy Central and I’d have to ask for an extension on the eighth day. And if I didn’t get it, who cares? I’m god!

  • Calling the Police After All

    An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about seventeen ransacking the place. He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police when the girl dropped down on her knees and pleaded, “Please don’t call the police, mister, oh please!! If you don’t, I’ll let you make love to me and do whatever you want with my body!”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The old man thought for a moment and decided to give in. Soon they were naked and in bed together. The old man tried hard and tried hard, but finally, he rolls over, exhausted, and embarrassed.

    “I’m sorry, young lady…but it’s no use,” he gasped. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to call the police after all.”

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