Tone: light-hearted

Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Push Up Bottom

    A blonde woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant.

    The assistant, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell bottom deodorant and never have. The blonde, unfazed, assures the lady behind the counter that she has been buying the stuff from here on a regular basis and would like some more.

    The shop assistant thinks for a minute, knowing full well that they don’t stock, or have ever sold, such an item. She smiles at the thick blonde pillock and says, “One moment please, I will get the pharmacist.”

    The pharmacist looks at the blonde and says, “Can I help you miss?”

    “I would like to buy some bottom deodorant please,” says the blonde.

    “I’m sorry,” says the pharmacist, “we don’t have any.”

    “But I always get it here,” says the blonde.

    “Do you have the container it comes in?”

    “Yes!” Said the blonde, “I will go and get it.”

    She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to the her “This is just a normal stick of under arm deodorant.”

    The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, “To apply, push up bottom.”

  • The Seagull

    A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were walking along the beach. A seagull flies over and craps all over the blonde. The brunette says in a disgusted voice, “Hang on. The bathroom is just up the hill. I’ll go get some toilet paper.”

    After she leaves the blonde begins to laugh. The redhead says, “What’s so funny?”

    The blonde says, “Well, blondes are supposed to be so dumb and look at her! By the time she gets back with that toilet paper that seagull will be miles away!”

  • Im Winning

    In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.

    She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks.

    Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.

    The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: “Can’t you see I’m winning??”

  • The Ball Kind

    A blonde goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk “I need to buy some deodorant for my husband.”

    “Does he use the ball kind?” enquired the clerk.

    “No,” replied the blonde, “The kind for under his arms.”

  • I Seriously Doubt My Mom Would Go for It

    I don’t think I could ever be “born again,” like some of those Evangelicals I see. I don’t remember much from the first time, but umbilical cords freak me out, and I seriously doubt my mom would go for it.

  • The Hard Disk

    Last night, my friends and I went to a geek strip club called “The Hard Disk.” Lame, you say? What if I told you they only charged $20 for a laptop dance?