Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

If I had a penis, I’d probably spend hours perfecting that

If I had a penis, I’d probably spend hours perfecting that “thwap” noise I’d want it to make when I hit it against my girlfriend.
I love it when you say things at work that can sound dirty, like

I love it when you say things at work that can sound dirty, like “When do you get off?” or “Hey, wanna fuck me on the copier?”
I can’t believe that dude was offended when I asked him if he

I can’t believe that dude was offended when I asked him if he enjoyed doing doggy styles. I guess pet groomers are just thin-skinned.
All of my men know the Rule of Tits: I have the tits; therefore,

All of my men know the Rule of Tits: I have the tits; therefore, I rule.
I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I

I’m sick of lying in bed and playing with myself all day long. I suppose I need to find someone to do that for me.
I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the

I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the clerk at Lowe’s “I need caulk.”
My boyfriend wants me to be more vocal and talk dirty to him

My boyfriend wants me to be more vocal and talk dirty to him when we’re having sex. Problem is, I don’t talk with my mouth full.
I’d like to be crowned Ms. Filthy Ruminations. Instead of a

I’d like to be crowned Ms. Filthy Ruminations. Instead of a sash, I think I’d wear some crotchless panties and sparkly pasties. Now who do I bribe to get the title?
(Roman Meeks) I like my bloody marys like I like my women: with

(Roman Meeks) I like my bloody marys like I like my women: with a little pickle in ’em!
I’d love it if some strippers banded together for a “Tits For a

I’d love it if some strippers banded together for a “Tits For a Cure” fundraiser/awareness project for some kind of disease or cause or something. I could sure get on board with that.