Hey, if my boyfriend’s penis could spurt chocolate, I’d never take the damn thing OUT of my mouth.
Tone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I guess it’s my fault; I kept telling my girlfriend I wanted to
I guess it’s my fault; I kept telling my girlfriend I wanted to see her get nasty and sweaty with another woman. But hair-pulling on “Jerry Springer” wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
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There I was, twisted up in an erotic sexual pose, while at the
There I was, twisted up in an erotic sexual pose, while at the same time lamenting the deeds of my past and wondering what punishment I might have to suffer in the future. Alas, such is the paradox of my religion, the Karma Sutra.
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I keep asking my personal waxer if he’d ever consider going out
I keep asking my personal waxer if he’d ever consider going out with me, but he just keeps giving me lip service.
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I’ll stop masturbating when they pry my cock from my cold dead
I’ll stop masturbating when they pry my cock from my cold dead hands. Or vice versa. (John “Schmitty” )Schmidt I love online sex. It gives me the chance to play the sex kitten, coming on to guys and driving them into frenzies
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Gorgeous as they are, I’m nevertheless terrified of looking at
Gorgeous as they are, I’m nevertheless terrified of looking at my girlfriend’s breasts. Maybe I have A-rack-nophobia.
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Whenever I get to the end of a Rumination by Jilly G., I always
Whenever I get to the end of a Rumination by Jilly G., I always pronounce her name “Jiggle,” because I’m thinking she probably does.
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Ever notice that the root word of “penis” is “pen”? It makes
Ever notice that the root word of “penis” is “pen”? It makes sense when you think about it. Sometimes you really have to grip it hard and make a lot of tight little circles to get the ink flowing.
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The “Take this job and shove it” concept certainly got a lot
The “Take this job and shove it” concept certainly got a lot more fun when I took this position testing 12-inch, 7-levelsof-intensity, hydraulic vibrators.
