The other night, I fucked a Chinese restaurant chef. The next morning, I had to do the wok of shame.
Tone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Has your grocery list ever seemed Freudian or inappropriate?
Has your grocery list ever seemed Freudian or inappropriate? Mine reads: “relish sausage spread buns.”
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There’s nothing sexier than a really smart guy. Unless we’re
There’s nothing sexier than a really smart guy. Unless we’re talking about sex, then a huge dick is really hot, too.
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(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik
(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik Wood” has nothing to do with erectile dysfunction? Live and learn.
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I was fine trying a reverse cowgirl for my man, but I still
I was fine trying a reverse cowgirl for my man, but I still think it was overkill when he branded my ass.
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I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang
I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang lots of meat euphemisms, like “slipping her the sausage.”
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They say the biggest sexual organ is really the brain. I still
They say the biggest sexual organ is really the brain. I still kind of like my huge, throbbing meat missile though.
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Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a
Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a vegan, I just wanted you to eat ME, dork.
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My girlfriend is ridiculously sexy. In fact, she brought the
My girlfriend is ridiculously sexy. In fact, she brought the sexy back so far, I had to buy a DeLorean just to sleep with her.
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If I were a carpenter and you were my lady, would you then be
If I were a carpenter and you were my lady, would you then be less put off by my “Hey, baby, check out my awesome wood!” comment?
