I was at the dentist this afternoon for some impressions.
He does a good Johnny Carson but his Frank Sinatra is terrible.
Tone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The Centipede’s Errand
An ant, a spider, and a centipede are holding a party.
The ant realizes that they are running low on beer. He offers to head out to buy some more. The centipede says, “No, let me do it. You’d take too long. I have a lot more legs than you — I can do it faster!” The bugs agree.
Ten minutes pass… then twenty minutes, then thirty, then more. The spider asks, “What’s taking him so long?” The ant decides to head out to investigate. He opens the front door and sees the centipede outside.
The ant asks, “Hey man, what’s taking you so long?”
The centipede replies, “I’m still putting on my shoes.”
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Cockatoo
Do you happen to own a parrot?
‘Cause you look like you could handle a cockatoo.
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Rick Astley for President
RICK ASTLEY FOR PRESIDENT
HE WILL NEVER EVER
GIVE YOU UP | MAKE YOU CRY
LET YOU DOWN | SAY GOODBYE
RUN AROUND | TELL A LIE
DESERT YOU | HURT YOU
2020
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Here Comes Trouble
Dad one sees dad two:
“oh no! here comes trouble!”
Dad two: “oh boy they let you out of the house?!”
Dads:
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Math Textbook Problems
Him: Damn girl are you a math textbook?
Her: No why?
Him: Cuz you have a lot of fuckin problems
@Gucci_Gameboy @Donny_Drama
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Under Pressure Bohemian Rhapsody
Can you perform under pressure?
No, but I can try Bohemian Rhapsody
@PunHubOnline
Pun hub
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Loggins Attempts
I just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing “Danger Zone” five times.
Apparently, I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
