Playful Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

(B0nrMunky) If there’s ever a tribute band for Spoon, it should

(B0nrMunky) If there’s ever a tribute band for Spoon, it should be called “Spooge.”

Yoga mats aren’t designed to accommodate a guy’s balls. Remove them and give them to the woman who brought you there for safe keeping.

Some use a carrot and stick approach to motivate others. I think it’s better to use a carrot and doughnut approach because fuck carrots.

I tell people to have a nice fucking day, unless they’re one of my pornstar friends. Then I like to tell them to have a nice day fucking.

Settle an argument: When a friend breaks her arm, it’s the other friend’s responsibility to draw a giant penis and balls on the cast, right?

Fuck it: Mouses, deers, fishes, gooses. There, I did it. It’s about time someone did.

When I take a shit on a Tuesday I call it doing a Number Tue. Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all weak.

I can’t believe how spicy this peppered Italian salami is! I could only get it halfway up my ass before I gave up.

“What is it about the accent that makes British guys more fuckable? I mean except the neighbor in The Jeffersons?” -me, post margarita