What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
You get kicked out of the petting zoo!
Tone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Three Tough Rats
Three rats were sitting around talking. The subject turned to how tough they were.
The first rat said, “Want to know how tough I am? You know the traps they set out for us? I undo the latch and work out with them.”
The second rat said, “Want to know how tough I am? You know the poison pellets they set out for us? I chop ’em up with a razor blade and snort it.”
The third rat starts to leave, and the other two ask him where he’s going.
The third rat replied, “I’m going upstairs to fuck the cat.”
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Tight, Isn’t It?
A man picks up a prostitute and is headed for the motel. She just cannot stop talking about how awesome her pussy is. They get to the motel room and undress.
To demonstrate, she says to him, “Put a finger in.” He puts a finger in.
“Put two fingers in.” He puts two fingers in.
“Put four fingers in.” He does.
“Put your hand in.” He does.
“Put your other hand in.” He does.
“Now, clap!”
He tries and tries, but cannot clap.
She says, “Tight, isn’t it?”
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Catholic Converter
Built Xterra/Frontier. 1 hour ago
Can a bad Alternator cause the Catholic converter to go bad?
Reply: I will literally pay for your vasectomy
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Side Chick Food Truck
“Hear me out – a food truck that sells chicken sandwiches. I’ll park it next to Chick-Fil-A and it’ll only be open on Sunday’s. I’ll call it Side Chick”
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French Fries
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece.
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Moo-spaper
How do cows stay up to date?
They read the moo-spaper.
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Strongest Days
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
