Tone: suggestive

Suggestive humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Spice Things Up Bedroom

    Spice Things Up Bedroom

    I want to spice things up.

    But you know that I’m allergic to chilli.

    I mean in the bedroom.

    I can’t eat them anywhere in the house, Alice.

  • On My Way Woody

    On My Way Woody

    My hand right after I wake up in the morning:

    On my way woody!

  • Farmers Market Pumpkin

    Farmers Market Pumpkin

    Had to fight some 16 year old kid for this at the farmers market today.👍

  • Quickies: Crude Jokes for Adults Only

    Quickies

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
    A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

    Q: What’s the difference between sin and shame?
    A: It is a sin to put it in, but it’s a shame to pull it out.

    Q: What’s the speed limit of sex?
    A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

    Q: What’s the ultimate rejection?
    A: When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

    Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
    A: Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio’s face, and moaning, “Lie to me!”

    Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
    A: Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

    Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
    A: K9P.

    Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
    A: “How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago.”

    Q: What did the potato chip say to the battery?
    A: If you’re Eveready, I’m Frito Lay.

    Q: What’s another name for pickled bread?
    A: Dill-dough

    Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
    A: He heard the snowblower coming.

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  • Clitty Bruiser Deluxe

    Clitty Bruiser Deluxe

    DIFSEL

    CLITTY-BRUISER DELUXE 5000-D 10 H.P. MODEL

    “It’s nothing numb nuts… go back to sleep”

  • Chocolate Wins: Eight Delicious Reasons Why

    Reasons why Chocolate is Better than Sex

    1. You can GET chocolate

    2. “If you love me you’ll swallow that” has real meaning with chocolate

    3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft

    4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving

    5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to

    6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother

    7. If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won’t mind

    8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names

    9. The word “commitment” doesn’t scare off chocolate

    10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting coworkers

    11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped

    12. You don’t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate

    13. With chocolate there’s no need to fake it

    14. Chocolate doesn’t make you pregnant

    15. You can have chocolate any time of month

    16. Good chocolate is easy to find

    17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle

    18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate

    19. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake

    20. With chocolate size doesn’t matter.

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  • Waiting Room Examine

    Waiting Room Examine

    WAITING ROOM

    “I never said anything about me being a doctor… I just said I’d like to examine your breasts.”

  • Open House With BJ

    Open House With BJ

    OPEN HOUSE With B.J. COLDWELL BANKER

  • Behind Mt Rushmore

    Behind Mt Rushmore

    ….near as I can tell, we’re somewhere behind Mt. Rushmore

  • Garys Dick In Fruit

    Garys Dick In Fruit

    We aren’t falling for it again Gary, we know your dick is in the fruit!!!