Tone: unexpected

“I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”

The man reluctantly paid her. Afterward, he sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.

“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.

“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”

The third dog says he jumped on the master’s wife when she bent over and tore her ass up.

The others ask, “Damn, you getting your nuts cut too?”

The third dog replies, “No, just my nails done.”

At the final house, a beautiful blonde led him upstairs for a passionate liaison, then made him a giant breakfast. He noticed a dollar bill under his coffee cup.

“What’s the dollar for?” he asked.

She said, “Last night, I asked my husband what to give you. He said, ‘Scr*w him… give him a dollar.’ But the breakfast was my idea.”

The new employee reluctantly agrees.

While he is alone, he sells a white dildo, a black dildo, and then a plaid one from the shelf for $165.

Finally, the guy’s boss returns and asks, “How did you do while I was gone?”

The salesman says, “I think I did good. I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165!”

“No…”

“Well, you can’t have any.”

Later, the little boy sees his Grandpa drinking beer and asks, “Can I have a swig?” Grandpa replies again, “Can your dick touch your asshole?”

“No…”

“Well, you can’t have any.”

The boy goes into the kitchen and is eating cookies when his Grandpa walks in.

“Can I have a cookie?” asks Grandpa.

“Can your dick touch your asshole?”

Grandpa says, “As a matter of fact, it can!”

The little boy replies, “Well then, you can go fuck yourself. These are MY cookies.”