Call me a “cheap ho” all you want — I’m still not throwing in the midget for free.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I thought I was being so “green” by not wasting water, but my
I thought I was being so “green” by not wasting water, but my toilet bowl suggests I’m more of a “putrid orangish yellow.”
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There I was, about to impress this cute girl by signing an
There I was, about to impress this cute girl by signing an important historical document, when this dude came in and John Hancock-blocked me.
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While I appreciate the tribe welcoming me into their fold, I
While I appreciate the tribe welcoming me into their fold, I knew I was in for a long night when they put me up in a wigwam with Splayed with Aching Clitoris.
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Titty fucking: fun to say, and even more fun to do
Titty fucking: fun to say, and even more fun to do!
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The next time some guy calls me a cocksucker, I’m gonna stop
The next time some guy calls me a cocksucker, I’m gonna stop whatever I’m doing and let him finish by hand.
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Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth
Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth paying more for. For example, I got this DVD titled “Mothers I Guess I Probably Would Be Willing to Fuck If I Couldn’t Do Any Better And Was Really Drunk And Knew None of My Friends Would Ever Find Out About It.” Surprisingly, it was just awful. That’s the last time I buy porn at the dollar store.
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You know you’re an over-sexed guy when you have to quit your job
You know you’re an over-sexed guy when you have to quit your job at Krispy Kreme ’cause you just can’t look at one more fucking hole.
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Every time I have an orgasm, I complain and throw a tantrum. I
Every time I have an orgasm, I complain and throw a tantrum. I guess I must be suffering from immature ejaculation.
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Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new
Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new iPhone. He loves it, but my husband complains that it’s not easy holding the phone during sex.
