I thought I was being so “green” by not wasting water, but my toilet bowl suggests I’m more of a “putrid orangish yellow.”
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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There I was, about to impress this cute girl by signing an
There I was, about to impress this cute girl by signing an important historical document, when this dude came in and John Hancock-blocked me.
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While I appreciate the tribe welcoming me into their fold, I
While I appreciate the tribe welcoming me into their fold, I knew I was in for a long night when they put me up in a wigwam with Splayed with Aching Clitoris.
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Titty fucking: fun to say, and even more fun to do
Titty fucking: fun to say, and even more fun to do!
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The next time some guy calls me a cocksucker, I’m gonna stop
The next time some guy calls me a cocksucker, I’m gonna stop whatever I’m doing and let him finish by hand.
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Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth
Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth paying more for. For example, I got this DVD titled “Mothers I Guess I Probably Would Be Willing to Fuck If I Couldn’t Do Any Better And Was Really Drunk And Knew None of My Friends Would Ever Find Out About It.” Surprisingly, it was just awful. That’s the last time I buy porn at the dollar store.
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You know you’re an over-sexed guy when you have to quit your job
You know you’re an over-sexed guy when you have to quit your job at Krispy Kreme ’cause you just can’t look at one more fucking hole.
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Every time I have an orgasm, I complain and throw a tantrum. I
Every time I have an orgasm, I complain and throw a tantrum. I guess I must be suffering from immature ejaculation.
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Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new
Sometimes I let my boyfriend watch me have an orgasm over my new iPhone. He loves it, but my husband complains that it’s not easy holding the phone during sex.
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The best part of waking up is not about coffee in my cup. It’s
The best part of waking up is not about coffee in my cup. It’s realizing I’m still young enough to have morning wood.
