Tone: witty

Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

They say it is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on. I

They say it is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on. I don’t know about that — it probably depends on your particular fetish.
If you ask me, Hallmark’s missing out on the untapped “Happy

If you ask me, Hallmark’s missing out on the untapped “Happy MILF Day” card market.
The power of language is amazing. For instance, the one-letter

The power of language is amazing. For instance, the one-letter difference between “pastries” and “pasties” was enough to get me permanently banned from every Dunkin’ Donuts in North America.
My new social networking site seems to be attracting an awful

My new social networking site seems to be attracting an awful lot of lesbians. Perhaps I should change the name to something other than “Clitter.”
My guy says he likes me because I’m “funny with an air of

My guy says he likes me because I’m “funny with an air of mystery” about me. I’m pretty
I’m not a fan of trite sayings, but “It’s not who you know, it’s

I’m not a fan of trite sayings, but “It’s not who you know, it’s who you blow” sure got me a lot of Girl Scout merit badges.
I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some

I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some fun. I don’t, however, want to bang that bike-racing dude with one nut.
I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least

I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least expected it. Big deal — sounds like every man I ever dated.
I’ll bet Superman was an amazing fuck. Well, except for that

I’ll bet Superman was an amazing fuck. Well, except for that faster-than-a-speeding-bullet part.
I’d never vote for another Bush for president, but I might be

I’d never vote for another Bush for president, but I might be persuaded to cast one for “Shaved Clam.”