My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy the Stripper for Halloween, he refused to eat me.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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How did the phrase “balls to the wall” come to mean doing
How did the phrase “balls to the wall” come to mean doing something very quickly? ‘Cause if they were my balls, I guarantee you I would be moving much, much slower.
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Why is it that whenever people talk about throwing up in their
Why is it that whenever people talk about throwing up in their mouth they always say, “I threw up in my mouth A LITTLE”? Surely somebody, somewhere, at some
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The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen
The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen one blue pussy, you’ve seen them all.
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You know those frilled lizards, the ones that can make
You know those frilled lizards, the ones that can make themselves look bigger and more fearsome by flipping out those flaps around their heads? I’ll bet those things have tiny little dicks.
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I like using the iPhone to send pictures of myself totally nude
I like using the iPhone to send pictures of myself totally nude to my boyfriend, but the lighting in these Apple stores sucks.
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This DVD box says, “The Director’s Cut.” Why the fuck should *I*
This DVD box says, “The Director’s Cut.” Why the fuck should *I* care what his penis looks like?
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Snap-On Tools should expand their line to include sex toys. They
Snap-On Tools should expand their line to include sex toys. They already have the name and all.
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Sure, a big penis might please the ladies a little more, but it
Sure, a big penis might please the ladies a little more, but it would mean a LOT more work for me when I’m by myself, and that happens WAY more often.
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The Nick Smith Theorem of Wanking: The amount of sex I’m getting
The Nick Smith Theorem of Wanking: The amount of sex I’m getting is inversely proportionate to how much my right arm hurts.
