When I was a little boy, like a lot of kids at that age I had a special friend who was imaginary. But time passes, and you grow up and realize *all* your friends are imaginary.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I’ve been getting my ass kicked in our local rec league so much lately, I think I’ve
I’ve been getting my ass kicked in our local rec league so much lately, I think I’ve developed athlete’s butt.
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I shudder to think at the amount of domestic violence that has resulted from the
I shudder to think at the amount of domestic violence that has resulted from the re-release of the VW Beetle.
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What’s the male equivalent of women’s intuition?
What’s the male equivalent of women’s intuition? Most likely, it’s hitting something really hard and seeing if it still causes a problem.
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I was all excited when I joined the neighborhood watch group, but it didn’t last long.
I was all excited when I joined the neighborhood watch group, but it didn’t last long. Apparently, they’ve got some weird policy against knocking on doors and demanding protection money.
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Nothing is as wonderful as a clear summer day, especially if that day includes some
Nothing is as wonderful as a clear summer day, especially if that day includes some heavy boozing and hooking up with a hot supermodel.
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I figure I’d better get started smoking now.
I figure I’d better get started smoking now. Otherwise in a few years my son might bring home from pre-school a crappy clay-and-elbow-macaroni DVD player.
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If I ever became a hooker, I’d charge by the inch.
If I ever became a hooker, I’d charge by the inch.
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*Strangling* fish in a barrel, although not as easy, is ultimately more satisfying.
*Strangling* fish in a barrel, although not as easy, is ultimately more satisfying.
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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Frame a man for murder and the state will feed him every day for 25-to-life.
