Once you’ve been a Very Special Guest, I’ll bet being a Special Guest feels like a total slap in the face.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
I’m not sure if it’s my singing voice, choice of music, or what, but my new “Singing
I’m not sure if it’s my singing voice, choice of music, or what, but my new “Singing Mammogram” business hasn’t been nearly as successful as I had hoped.
-
Parents don’t seem to like it when you lean in close, gesture toward the child sitting
Parents don’t seem to like it when you lean in close, gesture toward the child sitting in their grocery cart and whisper, “They sell those here?”
-
I think *every* day should be “National Awareness Day” Awareness Day.
I think *every* day should be “National Awareness Day” Awareness Day.
-
After buying a tutorial on playing poker, my game went down the toilet.
After buying a tutorial on playing poker, my game went down the toilet. That’s the last time I buy a copy of “2,000 Flushes.”
-
Nothing kills a good orgasm like that condescending “Shhhh!”
Nothing kills a good orgasm like that condescending “Shhhh!” from the librarian.
-
My dueling partner had a pen, and I had a sword.
My dueling partner had a pen, and I had a sword. I gave him the mightier weapon, so I don’t see what his heirs are so upset about.
-
The first person to ever buy a rooster must have been pretty damned surprised the next
The first person to ever buy a rooster must have been pretty damned surprised the next morning.
-
Note to my annoying coworker: If you’re trying to impress the secretary by quoting Ralph
Note to my annoying coworker: If you’re trying to impress the secretary by quoting Ralph Malph, you most definitely don’t “still got it.”
-
You don’t buy the doll because it’s inflatable, you buy it because it’s DE-flatable.
You don’t buy the doll because it’s inflatable, you buy it because it’s DE-flatable.
