Topic: death

Death jokes, funeral humor, grim memes, and mortality-themed laughs for anyone coping with existence through deeply inappropriate timing.

  • Tom Jones Syndrome

    A guy goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I can’t get that song ‘She’s a Lady’ out of my head. It keeps repeating and repeating, and it just won’t go away.”

    The doctor says, “Hmmm… sounds like a case of Tom Jones Syndrome.”

    The guy says, “I’ve never heard of that. Is it rare?”

    And the doctor says, “It’s not unusual.”

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  • COVID Testing in the Rear

    COVID Testing in the Rear

    “And I thought it was a nasal swab.”

    COVID TESTING IN THE REAR

  • Dentist You Were There!

    Dentist You Were There!

    Dentist: When was the last time you flossed?

    Me: Bro, you were THERE.

  • This Is Adulthood

    This Is Adulthood

    This is adulthood

    lower back MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME

  • It Looks Like You’re Pregnant

    It Looks Like You’re Pregnant

    it looks like you’re pregnant

    I’m pregnant?!

    No, but it looks like you are.

  • Double or Nothing

    A certain country was ruled by a dictator who was very paranoid. He rarely appeared in public; he preferred to send one of his many doubles.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    One day, an enemy attacks the palace. The survival of the dictator is in question. The doubles await news, trembling in fear. If the dictator dies, they would be no longer useful, and with all the secrets they know, the new regime surely wouldn’t let them live.

    Finally, they are called into a conference room. One of the dictator’s chief advisors enters.

    “My dear doubles!” he says. “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that our beloved leader has survived the dastardly attack, and so, your services are still very much required.”

    The doubles collectively sigh with relief.

    Then a big man with an axe enters the room.

    “Now for the bad news,” continues the advisor. “He lost an arm…”

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  • Handshake Alternatives: Docking

    Handshake Alternatives: Docking

    CORONAVIRUS (COVID-19) HANDSHAKE ALTERNATIVES

    THE BUMP

    THE BOW

    DOCKING

    THE FOOT TAP

    de.gov/coronavirus

  • The Dentist

    A dentist tells his patient, “This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?”

    The patient says, “Yes, doc. I’m ready.”

    And the dentist says, “I’m sleeping with your wife.”

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  • Hit the Ball, Drag Walter

    A man goes golfing every Sunday morning and is usually home in time for lunch. Until one Sunday when his wife found herself waiting well past noon with no sign of her elderly husband. She wrapped up his lunch and put it in the fridge to stay fresh, busying herself with chores and growing more anxious as the afternoon wore on.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Finally, he pulled into the driveway and she ran out to meet him. “Where have you been?” she asked.

    “Well, Walter had a heart attack on the third hole,” he replied. “Just keeled over and died right there on the spot!”

    “Oh no, that’s terrible!” the wife exclaimed.

    “Yeah, so for the whole rest of the day it was ‘hit the ball, drag Walter. Hit the ball, drag Walter…’”

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  • Skinhead? It’s Leukemia

    Skinhead? It’s Leukemia

    YOU’RE A SKINHEAD YOU BITCH

    NO DAD, IT’S LEUKEMIA

    LEUK-WHAT? STOP SPEAKING GERMAN YOU FUCKING NAZI