Every 28 days, I feel like watching nearly dead rockers and asking people to give me money. My doctor told me I suffer from PBS.
Topic: humor
Humor jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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Technically speaking, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind except for the LAST
Technically speaking, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind except for the LAST person.
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They say love means different things to different people — but my lawyer has instructed
They say love means different things to different people — but my lawyer has instructed me not to say what it means to me until after the trial.
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Sometimes I enjoy relaxing my eyes and taking in the marvelous show put on by the little
Sometimes I enjoy relaxing my eyes and taking in the marvelous show put on by the little floaters in my eyeballs. Except when it looks like they’re gettin’ busy, because then I just feel like a voyeuristic globule-fetishist perv.
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Astronomers saying the universe is actually accelerating away from us.
Astronomers saying the universe is actually accelerating away from us. Call me overly sensitive, but I can’t help but take that personally.
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Like the famed writer Jorge Luis Borges, I imagine paradise as a kind of library.
Like the famed writer Jorge Luis Borges, I imagine paradise as a kind of library. Specifically, a kind of library where you get to drink beer and have lots of sex.
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My dream job: vacation planner.
My dream job: vacation planner. Not for other people, though. That would kind of suck.
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They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but I would have to say they come in a
They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but I would have to say they come in a distant second to the right vibrator.
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Given that so many members of Lynyrd Skynyrd have died over the years, it’s surprising
Given that so many members of Lynyrd Skynyrd have died over the years, it’s surprising that none of the deaths were from suicide. After all, how many 20-minute performances of “Freebird” can a man take?
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Sometimes life just hands you lemons.
Sometimes life just hands you lemons. Other times life throws stones at your glass house, too, because life can be kind of a dick when it drinks.
