Nothing kills a good orgasm like that condescending “Shhhh!” from the librarian.
Topic: humor
Humor jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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My dueling partner had a pen, and I had a sword.
My dueling partner had a pen, and I had a sword. I gave him the mightier weapon, so I don’t see what his heirs are so upset about.
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The first person to ever buy a rooster must have been pretty damned surprised the next
The first person to ever buy a rooster must have been pretty damned surprised the next morning.
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Note to my annoying coworker: If you’re trying to impress the secretary by quoting Ralph
Note to my annoying coworker: If you’re trying to impress the secretary by quoting Ralph Malph, you most definitely don’t “still got it.”
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You don’t buy the doll because it’s inflatable, you buy it because it’s DE-flatable.
You don’t buy the doll because it’s inflatable, you buy it because it’s DE-flatable.
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They say the airport in Denver is pretty big.
They say the airport in Denver is pretty big. I dunno… I only passed one Seattle’s Best, one Caribou Coffee, and two Starbucks between the ticket counter and my gate.
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Someone at work stole my potato salad.
Someone at work stole my potato salad. That’s okay, though — it’s not like I was really going to eat it after I forgot and left it the car for the last couple of days.
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“You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”
“You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.” Then why the hell would you want a damn cake in the first place?
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The other day, I was reminded of the old cowboy saying that goes, “You can fry a fish in
The other day, I was reminded of the old cowboy saying that goes, “You can fry a fish in a pan of gunpowder, but that don’t make it AHHHHHHH, MY CHAPS ARE ON FIRE!!!” I can’t quite remember what made me think of it, but I recall I was texting on the highway at the time.
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When it comes to my bucket list, I find it’s easier to do stuff first, then add it to
When it comes to my bucket list, I find it’s easier to do stuff first, then add it to the list. So far, I’ve achieved five years of chastity and the 742nd all-time high score on Frogger.
