My wife fell asleep in my arms last night. She woke up this morning with an impression of the bazooka on her butt.
Topic: humor
Humor jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
-
I hate winter.
I hate winter. By the time spring arrives, my nipples have worn holes through all my favorite shirts.
-
It’s a wonder we haven’t yet heard about Kevin Bacon being involved in some sordid love
It’s a wonder we haven’t yet heard about Kevin Bacon being involved in some sordid love hexagon.
-
I’ve always been sort of cynical but it’s been getting worse.
I’ve always been sort of cynical but it’s been getting worse. Now whenever I see that a whole bunch of people died somewhere, my first thought is always, “plenty more where that came from.”
-
Of course, when the Jell-O hits the fan, everybody wants to take credit for it.
Of course, when the Jell-O hits the fan, everybody wants to take credit for it.
-
Your Tuesday so fat, Monday and Wednesday gotta scoot over a couple hours.
Your Tuesday so fat, Monday and Wednesday gotta scoot over a couple hours.
-
Taliban at 3 o’clock?
Taliban at 3 o’clock? So why all the shouting — it’s only 10:30!
-
I’m pretty sure hotel room service maids fold the toilet paper into a pointed wedge to
I’m pretty sure hotel room service maids fold the toilet paper into a pointed wedge to make it easier for me to reach my buttcrack.
-
I couldn’t find any lip balm, so I used hand cream instead.
I couldn’t find any lip balm, so I used hand cream instead. My lips feel better, but now when I talk it sounds like a round of applause.
-
You know you have been married a while when Date Night involves getting a sitter for the
You know you have been married a while when Date Night involves getting a sitter for the kids so you can shop at Restoration Hardware until it closes.
