Im horny
yo hold up
is that a 2002 Ferrari F355 Spider hotwheels on your nght?
my dad used to have one hanging in the rearview mirror, one night he got in to ar accident and the airbag impaled it into his face
no shit retard we have the same dad
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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Dishwasher Chopping Vegetables
HIM: the dishwasher is acting weird
HER: what’s it doing
HIM: chopping fucking vegetables
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My Wife Likes Me
LADE HERSELF @ThebigLade
Men truly don’t realize when a woman has a crush on them, do they??
SilverFox @dantwodaughters · 3h
I don’t even know if my wife likes me.
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Lives With His Wife
Women won’t date a guy that lives with his mom but they will date a guy that lives with his wife
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After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my
After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my long-distance girlfriend’s amazing naked body via webcam today. Now I just pray she doesn’t find the hidden camera.
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The worst part of giving a handjob is getting his pubes stuck in
The worst part of giving a handjob is getting his pubes stuck in my freshly applied nail polish.
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My boyfriend told me, “I want to take a picture of my cock
My boyfriend told me, “I want to take a picture of my cock between the twins.” WTF? I’m not so sure I want my niece and nephew that close to a rooster!
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If I had a penis, I’d probably spend hours perfecting that
If I had a penis, I’d probably spend hours perfecting that “thwap” noise I’d want it to make when I hit it against my girlfriend.
