Hey, if my boyfriend’s penis could spurt chocolate, I’d never take the damn thing OUT of my mouth.
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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I keep asking my personal waxer if he’d ever consider going out
I keep asking my personal waxer if he’d ever consider going out with me, but he just keeps giving me lip service.
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My man wanted to fuck me missionary-style. WTF? He knows I’m not
My man wanted to fuck me missionary-style. WTF? He knows I’m not religious.
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My new girlfriend is very talented: After oral sex she blows
My new girlfriend is very talented: After oral sex she blows semen bubbles then twists them into balloon animals!
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She loves me… She loves me not… She loves me… She loves me
She loves me… She loves me not… She loves me… She loves me not… Hell, as long as she keeps putting out and doesn’t divorce me, what fucking difference does it make?!
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I like dating really short guys so that when we get into a
I like dating really short guys so that when we get into a fight, I can piss them off by saying, “We’re not currently seeing tit-to-eye.”
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I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some
I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some fun. I don’t, however, want to bang that bike-racing dude with one nut.
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I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least
I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least expected it. Big deal — sounds like every man I ever dated.
